I Define Who I Am

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WRITER:  I am who I am!  I am unapologetically crafty with words.  It is the very essence of my being the way I move words across the screen effortlessly.  I am in awe of others that do the same whether it is to freely express their feelings into written form just to share or even as those write with the ultimate purpose to make money.  Writer is only one title that defines who I am.  I am defined by my talent because I push it into the atmosphere.  As I constantly define my life and redefine who I am, I am not deterred by setbacks.  To no end I am pleased with the steps I have taken to set myself up to share my thoughts and inspiration for those to grab hold of.  As I keep prioritizing my goals and dreams, I urge anyone to obtain a copy of Brown Sugar Magic as a guide to help you in the right direction.

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Now this is not a just a plug about my last book even as I continue to work on my writing and do some educational consults and writing.  This blog is about the titles that define me.  Unless you walk a day in my shoes you have no idea how much of a blessing my life really truly has been.  I do not dwell of what I cannot change.  I have changed myself from within and I am HEALED from my PAST because it does not DEFINE me!

DAUGHTER:  My mom worked too hard for me not to be GREAT!  Growing up as a “latch-key” kid and becoming independent at a very young age has carried well over into adulthood.  The amount of love and respect I have for my mom spills over into how I love and nurture my children.  As a daughter I have become my moms confidant and I continue to learn so much from her about resiliency and not allowing your troubles to last.  I’m the daughter that my biological father misses out on because I have exceeded expectations thrown on me by society as a “Fatherless Daughter”.  Everyday has not been a walk in the park.  As with anyone if you lose a companion, friend, or spouse you have moments of doubt and utter confusion.  I am the daughter of King who knows that is has been nothing but the grace of God that has walked with me through troubled waters.  Be careful about who you judge!  I have favor over my life, I know where my help comes from.

MOTHER:  I cannot get enough of my sons.  They are everything!  That says so much in such few words.  I love and take care of my sons the way my mother took care of me. Watching my babies grow up over the past few years from elementary to them both being in middle school next year I am emotional.  It has not been easy finding balance, co-parenting, and accepting things that are out of my control.  I certainly did not like experiencing my family being torn apart when they were younger, but they have ADJUSTED extremely well.  I am the ONLY mother they have and they know I will give my life to save them from any dangers.  I’m selfless when it comes to my SONSHINES!  They will definitely remember the tough lessons, mistakes, and decisions that have been made in their best interest.  Spare the rod, spoil the child (Proverbs 13:24).

TEACHER:  I interviewed in May 2008 and walked into my first pre-planning session July 2008.  I have told the story before about one teacher telling me I’d never have a job because of my attitude when I was 13 years old.  Well here I am now, 35 years old with 16 years of VALUABLE work experience that is a mixture of my career choices and education.  I am so glad to be moving up to high school after nine years at the middle school level.  I think sometimes people think that my profession defines all areas of my life, but let me tell you a secret…IT DOES NOT!  I have a REAL life outside of school and the kids are the worst sometimes because they tend to think that we have been adults our whole lives.  That’s until I tell them some of my childhood stories to show my HUMAN side.  Yes I’m a teacher that builds relationships with my students and that’s why I LOVE what I do.  CAREER and EDUCATION choices MATTER!

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FRIEND:  The title of friend I hold close to my heart because I either fool with someone or I don’t.  I am never swayed by what someone thinks of me or other people that matter to me.  One of my good friends has opened my eyes to just living in the NOW.  Too bad some people don’t know how to leave some things alone and let people LIVE.  When you go looking for problems with people to report to your friends, that says more about YOU the investigator and instigator than it could ever say about the other person.  My TRUE friends know that I have a heart of gold and I rarely hold back my thoughts. I have learned to drop the rope and not engage. I am NOT going to be liked by everybody and that is okay.  I ACCEPT that!  See I am not what or who other people say I am.  I am a friend to those who show me genuine adoration and respect because I give them that of me in return.  I am a friend to those who seek my guidance and honest help because the truth is the truth.  I have learned how to be more vulnerable in my friendships and not be so STRONG because I have a life full of AWESOME things to be THANKFUL for.  The ability to have friends that SUPPORT you in good times and in bad times is admirable.  I am one of those that stand by in good times, bad decisions, confusing moments until WE get it back right!

I am defined by my actions.  I am not defined by the chapter of my life that you walked in on.

~LaTilya Rashon

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I Have Not Always Been a Wife

I Have Not Always Been a Wife

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Young girls at pure adolescence on up to grown women are emotional creatures when the right and wrong buttons are pushed.  While sitting around with a few colleagues during our planning period the topic of marriage came up.  With the exception of one man in the room, there were three women and two men exchanging laughter about the dynamics of marriage.  I felt that it is only right to put things into perspective for young women who are unattached and are confused as to why.

Friend Zone: Being in the friend zone is probably the worse feeling in the world because the one guy you want to like you, likes someone else.  The chemistry between the two of you is natural and easy going.  The term “bestfriend” is thrown around loosely when deep down inside someone on the other side of the friendship wants more.  They may not want more now, but at some point you (ladies) or one of your friends have stared at a guy long enough to daydream about how things could be.  So it is very hard to tear away from wishful thinking.  But stop wasting your time wanting more than friendship because it’s not going to happen.  It will upset you, but this way you won’t lose a friend by forcing something that was never promised.

Side Chick:  One of my crazy colleagues pulled up a meme with the most ridiculous line ever, “I’ll rather be a side chick to loyal ni**a”.  That line alone blew my mind.  Now ladies, we have all been the side chick whether we knew it or not.  Sadly, some women enter into the role happily.  Smart women learn to not be available to a man, who is not available us.  You can’t help if a man lies, but you can make the choice to value yourself more than the man that is using you.  Choose to be the one and only, not the one when it’s convenient.  You’ll be angry and learn the meaning of, “You lose them how you get them” all too quickly.

Girlfriend: When we get with someone and everything seems right, we are head over heels in love with our boyfriends.  It is so much fun in the beginning, but you have to question do his intentions and actions match?  Listen to some of the men around you talk…you will be surprised at the qualities that men really look for in a woman.  Boyfriends know that they are temporary by their actions and by what you put off.  I’m not knocking ladies who have been with a guy for years, but at some point you have to decide if you want more.  The new way of thinking in relationships says that a man knows in six months if he wants to be with you long term or not.  Ladies it’s time to put an alarm clock on on your heart to wake up at six months.  Stop being the girlfriend performing wifely duties.  You’ll cry a river when the relationship ends, but the right man won’t intentionally break your heart.

Wife: This is the ultimate prize!  We have all been through the friend zone, side chick, and girlfriend phase, but there is nothing like being a wife.  I have not always been a wife, but the feelings I have about this title in my life is absolutely phenomenal.  Yea sure I’ve been married before, but getting married at 32 (August 6, 2014), is way different than when I got married at age 21 in 2003.  I heard from the men in the room how they deal with their wives today as we were having a laughable conversation about how arguments go once the ring is on your finger.  The level of commitment in marriage is admirable by those who take the time to learn, grow, trust, and listen to their partners indiscriminately.  In marriage you will cry, you will laugh, but you will love stronger.  This time around in marriage I’m learning a lot about compromise, forgiveness, and patience.  I guess that comes with age and experience.  Not everyday is sunshine, but this coveted place in a man’s life is desired by many.

~LaTilya Rashon

Photo credit: jcoterhals via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND