11 Summers of Reflection

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In a friendly conversation I was asked if I reflect on my life.  I had to resist saying, “Duh!” because it would have been childish, but it turned into a fruitful conversation and a serious train of thought for me.  Since coming into the new year, I promised myself that I wouldn’t dwell in the past, but some things are worth remembering.  Today I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and knew that I had to sit down for this blog post.

I separated from the Air Force in 2007, the summer of 2007 and here I am now, not working my 11th summer and still getting paid.  That is a blessing!  Not because I’m an educator, but it is a blessing that I have a career that I love and it frees up my time to pursue my passion during breaks and holidays.  My website and blog are my outlet to practice my writing skills as I crank out my inspirational nonfiction.  I never thought nonfiction would have been the genre of my first two books My Fourth Year in Middle School:  The Truth About Teaching (2016) and Brown Sugar Magic: Goal Setting and Reflections Journal (2017).

So here we go, 11 Summers of Reflection…

2007:  I was scared out of my mind to be separating from the Air Force after six years because I was concerned with finding a job.  It didn’t matter that I had earned two associates degrees, my bachelors, and was separating honorably, I was preparing in my mind for my future.  I settled into my new home back in my home state and pushed dozens of my resume and applications out.  I chose to go work for the Office of Child Support Services.  In eight months I learned that child support enforcement is not the kind of job I wanted.  Thankfully I was a forward thinker and able to move on.

2008: The summer of newness.  After working for the State of Georgia for a hot minute… I was impressive enough to secure interviews in April of 2008 to become a teacher.  So mid-way through my Master’s program leading into the summer, I was blessed enough to not work a second summer in a row, and still collect a check.  My Essentials to Teaching class was an eye-opener, but I was excited to take on a new challenge and start my new career as a teacher.  I had no idea what I was getting into.

2009:  This summer broke me just a little….  I had been with my high school crush since 2001 right before joining the Air Force, but at the end of my first year of teaching we had a MAJOR fight… the fight was the snowball to that marriage.  I celebrated my first year of teaching, the highs and lows.  I found love for the classroom and for the students I taught.  I moved forward with my career while crying my eyes out at night, but pulling it together to be SUPER mom for my boys.  We separated.  Tough Summer!

2010:  I had filed for divorce, experienced a fling with a blast from the past and when that didn’t work, I flew to Puerto Rico.  It was just the getaway that I needed.  Now there is no need for details, but being around a familiar and trustworthy face made the trip worth it.  We ate, we drank, we talked.  I loved him but we understood that our love was not to be explored beyond where we were at.  We were adults… still distant friends… Truly someone I will never forget.  I see his life now and I’m extremely happy for him.

2011:  I had completed my third year of teaching and I had some tough decisions to make.  Reconcile completely or not to reconcile at all.  Things were not adding up so I made a choice to walk away.  After someone says they don’t like the word marriage, you walk away.  I never work summer school, but one of my friends had the bright idea to start a book club and we had the most fun ever.  The book club fell to wayside because life happened but shortly after the summer, September to be exact, I was officially divorced.  After all according to that spouse, marriage was just a piece of paper.  Ain’t no way hell was I about that life.

2012:  This was my summer of sexy!  I had officially become a homeowner and hosted my housewarming party.  This was one of the most rewarding experiences I had in a lifetime.  Becoming a homeowner and decorating my home was the best feeling ever.  I could not have been more excited in this year of independence.  I loved every moment of my freedom to do as I chose.

2013: Summer of blur.  I was in a relationship.  It was fun.  It was combative.  Two summers post divorce, and second summer of home ownership.  I had tunnel vision and was completing my last required courses towards my doctorate.  I was trying to be a free spirit and finding myself all over again.

2014:  Let’s call this the summer of love.  I was smitten. I was engaged. I was a nervous wreck.  I was trying!  I think I tried and cried so hard this particular summer.  I honestly don’t know if I was coming or going.  But that is all apart of life.  The struggle to get to what is real.

2015:  The summer of laughter.  A beautiful summer of grilling, slip and slides for the kids, Tybee Island, Jekyll Island, and Summer Waves.  WE had fun…a lot of fun.  I was oblivious and living in the moment.  I was happy.  My boys were growing up and mama was having a life too.  Life could not have been more grand than what it was.

2016:  Revelations and Celebrations!  A year ago I was flying back from Fort Lauderdale after walking across the grand stage to receive my Doctorate of Education.  I was starting my “business” of writing and blogging and trying to figure things out.  I published my book and was on an emotional high.  Of course some things did not feel right in my marriage, but I took things in stride and accepted some harsh realities.  The highs of cruising to the Bahamas a second time, Florida, and family kept me motivated.  I was continuing to come into my own.

2017:  The journey to here!  I am elated to be standing because I know who I am.  I know the impact I have on my LOVED ones, and the RESPECT I have earned in my career, my family, my friends, and my life.  The story is still being written as I’m WRITING!  So do I reflect on my LIFE?  Hell yes I reflect on my life and I am forever grateful for all of my experiences.  The GOOD and the BAD.  The HURTFUL and the LOVING.

In my 11 summers I have made time for myself.  I love myself and the woman that I continue to become.  Others will wonder how I do it?  I’ll just say that it’s the drive and the God in me.  I’m not perfect, I’m original.

Live~Reflect~Write~Learn

LaTilya Rashon

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I Define Who I Am

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WRITER:  I am who I am!  I am unapologetically crafty with words.  It is the very essence of my being the way I move words across the screen effortlessly.  I am in awe of others that do the same whether it is to freely express their feelings into written form just to share or even as those write with the ultimate purpose to make money.  Writer is only one title that defines who I am.  I am defined by my talent because I push it into the atmosphere.  As I constantly define my life and redefine who I am, I am not deterred by setbacks.  To no end I am pleased with the steps I have taken to set myself up to share my thoughts and inspiration for those to grab hold of.  As I keep prioritizing my goals and dreams, I urge anyone to obtain a copy of Brown Sugar Magic as a guide to help you in the right direction.

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Now this is not a just a plug about my last book even as I continue to work on my writing and do some educational consults and writing.  This blog is about the titles that define me.  Unless you walk a day in my shoes you have no idea how much of a blessing my life really truly has been.  I do not dwell of what I cannot change.  I have changed myself from within and I am HEALED from my PAST because it does not DEFINE me!

DAUGHTER:  My mom worked too hard for me not to be GREAT!  Growing up as a “latch-key” kid and becoming independent at a very young age has carried well over into adulthood.  The amount of love and respect I have for my mom spills over into how I love and nurture my children.  As a daughter I have become my moms confidant and I continue to learn so much from her about resiliency and not allowing your troubles to last.  I’m the daughter that my biological father misses out on because I have exceeded expectations thrown on me by society as a “Fatherless Daughter”.  Everyday has not been a walk in the park.  As with anyone if you lose a companion, friend, or spouse you have moments of doubt and utter confusion.  I am the daughter of King who knows that is has been nothing but the grace of God that has walked with me through troubled waters.  Be careful about who you judge!  I have favor over my life, I know where my help comes from.

MOTHER:  I cannot get enough of my sons.  They are everything!  That says so much in such few words.  I love and take care of my sons the way my mother took care of me. Watching my babies grow up over the past few years from elementary to them both being in middle school next year I am emotional.  It has not been easy finding balance, co-parenting, and accepting things that are out of my control.  I certainly did not like experiencing my family being torn apart when they were younger, but they have ADJUSTED extremely well.  I am the ONLY mother they have and they know I will give my life to save them from any dangers.  I’m selfless when it comes to my SONSHINES!  They will definitely remember the tough lessons, mistakes, and decisions that have been made in their best interest.  Spare the rod, spoil the child (Proverbs 13:24).

TEACHER:  I interviewed in May 2008 and walked into my first pre-planning session July 2008.  I have told the story before about one teacher telling me I’d never have a job because of my attitude when I was 13 years old.  Well here I am now, 35 years old with 16 years of VALUABLE work experience that is a mixture of my career choices and education.  I am so glad to be moving up to high school after nine years at the middle school level.  I think sometimes people think that my profession defines all areas of my life, but let me tell you a secret…IT DOES NOT!  I have a REAL life outside of school and the kids are the worst sometimes because they tend to think that we have been adults our whole lives.  That’s until I tell them some of my childhood stories to show my HUMAN side.  Yes I’m a teacher that builds relationships with my students and that’s why I LOVE what I do.  CAREER and EDUCATION choices MATTER!

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FRIEND:  The title of friend I hold close to my heart because I either fool with someone or I don’t.  I am never swayed by what someone thinks of me or other people that matter to me.  One of my good friends has opened my eyes to just living in the NOW.  Too bad some people don’t know how to leave some things alone and let people LIVE.  When you go looking for problems with people to report to your friends, that says more about YOU the investigator and instigator than it could ever say about the other person.  My TRUE friends know that I have a heart of gold and I rarely hold back my thoughts. I have learned to drop the rope and not engage. I am NOT going to be liked by everybody and that is okay.  I ACCEPT that!  See I am not what or who other people say I am.  I am a friend to those who show me genuine adoration and respect because I give them that of me in return.  I am a friend to those who seek my guidance and honest help because the truth is the truth.  I have learned how to be more vulnerable in my friendships and not be so STRONG because I have a life full of AWESOME things to be THANKFUL for.  The ability to have friends that SUPPORT you in good times and in bad times is admirable.  I am one of those that stand by in good times, bad decisions, confusing moments until WE get it back right!

I am defined by my actions.  I am not defined by the chapter of my life that you walked in on.

~LaTilya Rashon

7 Reasons I Take A Selfie Each Day

File_000In life we wake up some days feeling like we can conquer the world and other days we wake up not feeling 100% ready to face the world.  There is happiness when everything little thing in your life makes you smile, laugh, and feel special whether it’s daily or for short period of time.  In those moments that you feel special you want to capture your glow and show your beauty to the world.  Your world may be your social media following but when your face appears on someone’s timeline it may give them the breath of fresh air they need.

However, in this day in time where taking the best selfie could take many tries at the best angle; we strive to capture our best angles and put out best face forward.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there is nothing wrong with taking your picture everyday if you want to.  You may not post your picture each day but in your own time and self-reflection see things about yourself and in yourself that you need to work on.  Keeping with my lists, I have decided that after this storm that had been raging in my life, I’d like to share the 7 Reasons I Take A Selfie Each Day.

File_007Sunday- I wake-up refreshed and renewed ready to go sit in the Lord’s house (not every Sunday) to get the spiritual cleansing I need.  On this day I am happy that I have breath in my body and that I have favor on my life to push me forward even when I feel like my faith has wavered.  Sometimes I have to just get up and go to church in order to get my mind right and press on even when I am not feeling my best.  I capture my moment of clarity and say Thank You Jesus!File_002

Monday- It is the start of my work week.  Everybody disdains Monday because the weekend went by entirely too fast.  However, sometimes on Monday I am are ready to tackle my work week and knock out some tasks I desperately need to get done.  Mondays aren’t always pretty but it is the day I jump start my productivity and take charge of my objectives, goals, and everything that pushes me towards my purpose.  In this moment I capture my determination and focus and paint that picture in my heaFile_003

Tuesday- It’s not quite the middle of the week, it’s still the top of the week and this day has already gotten long.  I’m running to take care of my children, go to the store, squeeze in a workout, I’m practically living in my car.  I’m a mom on the go and as much as I would like to slow down, it is impossible to slow down with so much to do.  I take my picture and laugh at my busy schedule because for the most part, I’m ALWAYS in my car.File_005

Wednesday- It’s HUMP DAY! The middle of the week is exciting because in two more days I don’t have to move if I don’t want.  But I must lay Wednesday down, contemplate going to Bible Study which in the past I regularly attended, but now I find comfort in my home and perhaps eating some chicken wings and French fries and calling it a night.  There is nothing too special about this day other than my work week in almost over and have by now written a new blog, added followers to my social media and finding ways to network. I’m doing what I love…writing so I snap a picture, not necessarily of me of a symbol of my passion.File_006

Thursday- It’s FRIDAY JR!  I’m in my car screaming, “Why isn’t this week over yet?”  I’m not rushing the week to be over, but I’m ready to rest.  My children have driven my crazy at school this particular day and I’m two seconds from snapping. But I have to remember that I need my job, so I will watch my mouth.  LOL!  I can control my mouth, but this face has a mind of it’s own. I capture my frustration, my frown lines, and say, “Jesus take the wheel.”File_001

Friday-  I like those Fridays that fall during a break or holidays because I’m in no rush to do anything.  But when I do, I take my time, make myself look pretty and step out looking so fresh and so clean.  I never waste and opportunity to snap a shot, post a pic and keep it moving.  On these days I feel the weight of the world leave my shoulders and I relax.  In these moments, I’m Doing Me…Being Me…For Me!File_004

Saturday- I will be officially lazy.  I’m in my bed or on my chaise lounge not moving because I don’t want.  I play on my chromebook and officially have my iphone attached to my hand.  Of course it’s more selfie time as I experiment with my make-up in my bathroom.  Fix an adult beverage or three and relax.  I spend time with friends sometimes, or run around at football games with my sons.  My selfie game is on point and by day seven I have found the best lighting, angle, and position.

My sadness may be there for some to see.  Friends that know me understand how I shield my disappointments.  I once read somewhere that people take pictures of things that they don’t want to lose.  I work hard to not lose myself in all of my situations, life turmoil, and setbacks that could be sure to take someone unlike me, OUT!  I take my picture as a time stamp for where I was at physically, mentally, and emotionally in my life.  There is nothing wrong with capturing my highs and my lows.  I am who I POST to be…Perfectly Imperfect…Taking Risks…Discovering More About Myself…all while continuing to put my beautiful confusion on display.

Take your picture!  Post your picture and try not to take things so seriously.

3 Steps to Living a Better Life

They say that you should smile at the people around you because you never know what somebody is going through.  But when you can’t smile at people I say you should be a beacon of light that shines so bright that your positivity and inspiration speaks before you say a word.

I have been asked how I keep a smile on my face while dealing with the struggle, and I say it is because I know my worth.  I was specifically asked how I am so happy while my life is in transition.  My answer in short has been that I have to remember who I am, remember that my sons need a WHOLE mother, and I must place value in myself.

People that walk around “Happy” all of the time are living in a false reality, because hardships are a part of living and we all go through the struggle from time to time.  However, we have to not remain stagnant in that struggle.  We must deal with REAL life and move forward, but most importantly LEARN.

Taken from my post on Facebook a short list was born…in order to live my life more abundantly and Not Dwell in the Past…Sometimes you just have to speak things into the atmosphere, enjoy life to the fullest, and create the life I want to life.

new life loading conceptStep one of my process is gaining a new lease on life.  I had to realize that losing people in my life was not always a bad thing.  Some losses are out of my individual control.  Death is inevitable…but a breakup be it a long term relationship or marriage is NOT the end of the world.  It may feel like the end of the world when you lose someone you love, but there is a blessing in losing someone that didn’t value your presence in the first place.  Eventually you get tired of feeling unappreciated and realize that you deserve better.  You will cry, flip out, reflect, question, scream, not understand, and then realize that it is time to LET IT GO!  You can try to hold on, but if the relationship was meant to last it would.  Sometimes letting go is hard to do but in order to have peace of mind it is necessary.  No one person is perfect in a relationship, but when you know that YOU have done all that you can, make peace with your circumstances and know that YOU DESERVE BETTER.

goldfish-bowlStep two is to challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone.  I am VERY black and white when it comes to rules because I have too much to lose.  That does not mean I am perfect, don’t get upset and am not confrontational.  It just means it takes a lot to get me to that point.  Everything does not need a reaction, but when I do REACT be ready because it’s not going to be how you would expect.  I’m very comfortable in my skin, so now that I am deciding to sit in front of the camera I am setting myself up for criticism from others.  I am already hard on myself when it comes to my writing, so in order to grow I have to throw myself out there even more.  Whether it’s writing academic content, working on my upcoming projects, or making VLOGS in order to get better I must first not rely on being comfortable.  So PUSH yourself to do things differently and enjoy learning more about who you are and what makes you tick.

6e5988ba841544b4118bb3a88019ea9eStep three is having fun while I fumble through my new experiences.  Whether it’s a dinner date, movies, throwing back a few cocktails, or getting some new ink (I LOVE TATTOOS), there is NOTHING to STOP me from having fun.  After being thrown completely for a loop, and having my world shaken up I have rebounded and know that I will LIVE my LIFE ABUNDANTLY WELL.  My sons are growing and maturing into awesome little men.  They are well taken care of and are happy to see their mom living a little rather being bogged down by sleepless nights and endless tears.  I am deserving of a stress free life… I am not afraid to give love another shot.  I removed toxic people from my life and while others want to assume, they have no idea just how GOOD my life really truly is.  I have spent so much time taking caring of others, it feels good to have a friend in my life that makes things a little easier for me.  I am able to relax.  So I say to my followers and encouragers, OPEN UP an LIVE A LITTLE! Try NEW things…Don’t be so Quick to say NO!

Make a list, check it twice. Life is better with lists! Come back for more in the list series.

~LaTilya Rashon

10 Things I’m Proud Of

When you are grateful.  Fear disappears and abundance appears. ~Anthony Robbins

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I have been inspired by list posts and recently took a second look at my 35 Randoms Thoughts on the eve of my 35th birthday and the 7 Things You Should Do in 2017 and my oh my have I enlightened my own self.

I am in such a different space in my life from the restart of my blog (March 2016) as I pursue my writing and grabbing opportunities to express myself (Pursue Your Dream Career).  I love lists….I write everything down and look back at the things I affirm in myself and feel a sense of pride when things come to fruition.

Right now there are so many thoughts in my head about what I’m trying to do and where I’m trying to go and I know that the next few years are going to push me closer to my purpose.  In the meantime I’ll just focus right here at Tilyarealeyes.com and put things into the atmosphere and watch them come full circle.  

So here’s to the 10 Things I’m Proud Of

10.  I began my college journey at the University of Florida the glorious summer of 2000.  My #1 school of choice and I had a blast…my very first Blue & White weekend, being introduced to Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. by way of the fabulous Mu Epsilon Chapter…endless memories…oh what a time I had.

9.  Due to the fun I had at UF, I subsequently enlisted into the United States Air Force and spent six wonderful years on active duty.  I met some amazing people…but I also walked away with 2 associate degrees and my bachelors when I separated in 2007…Honorable Discharge…Veteran Status

8.  I have given birth to the most amazing little boys on the side of heaven.  I’m supposed to be proud as their mother…that damn Lil Phil (3.4.04) waited 20 hours to make his appearance into this world…after contracting, I stalled at 5 centimeters so a c-section it became and he’s still stubborn to this day.. #Big   Then came the baby, my Preston (2.9.06) my little genius and scheduled c-section.  He melts my heart…so innocent…so sweet…so caring… #Little

7. My trials and tribulations in life remind me that everyone struggles at times and it is a part of life but it’s ultimately about how you handle things.  I have no choice but to be resilient…I have children to take care of.  I am defined by my experiences and that is what completes me.  db42f1c66ab6b254f78baae55b330a64

Taking a deeper look though, my first name has 7 letters in it…L.A.T.I.L.Y.A.

Loyal…Ambitious…Talented…Intelligent…Loveable…Yummy…Amazing

My journey makes me aware of who I am…7…the number of completion!

6.  I have been in the traditional classroom for 9 years and I love it!  It’s not easy each day or each year.  In time middle school will be my foundation as I move up to the next level.

5.  Five years ago…April 2012 I closed on my first home…ALL by MYSELF at the age of 30. God is so Good!  These past 5 months have shook me up…my marriage ended…a financial setback…but I’m home!  The devil got busy, but I’m grounded in what’s mine and I give it all to God.

4. I have survived what might drive others crazy.  I am not ashamed of my second divorce, nope not one bit.  Marriage 1 changed me, matured me, and birthed me my 2 delicious babies.  Marriage 2 taught me what I deserve and I don’t deserve to be cheated on, lied to, disrespected, or unappreciated.  It was not all bad but the truth of the matter it was a struggle.  I have my dignity and I learned my lesson. I’m not sure if 3 times is the charm… Who Knows…But You Already Knew That…I Want The Magic.

3.  Writing my book, My Fourth Year in Middle School will always be a proud moment.  Personal, honest and something I always wanted to do.  So stay tuned for my next body of work.  Because I’m super critical of myself, when The Journey to Here is complete it will be because I’m ready for you to see it.  Being a creative is not easy…I’m passionate about MY words and how I intricately weave them together.

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2.  My education!  I’m modest about it, but having someone speak life in me and say, “You should introduce yourself as Dr. Williams”, it is a constant reminder of my accomplishments.  Surround yourself with people that SPEAK LIFE into your existence, your being, your soul, your day…those are the kind of people to have on your team. Community College of the Air Force…Thomas Edison State College (now University)…Bellevue University…Nova Southeastern University…Since 2000 I pursued my education and ultimately became Dr. LaTilya Williams.  No easy feat…but yes I did it.

1. My spirituality!  I luh God!  He is the author of my life.  Without him I would not be able to stand strong.  I am where I am in life because of him and I embrace all of my blessings.  My life is changing for the Good…the Great…the Better.

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7 Things You Should Do In 2017

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In this New Year things will be different for some people, will remain the same for others, but it will ultimately represent completion for the risk takers, over-achievers, and GOAL DIGGERS!  I am a few months shy from the rebirth of my blog and with all of the things I have done with writing, experimenting, and finding my niche, I am moved by LIFE!

So as I was sitting home on New Year’s Day I had a burst of energy and the title, 7 Things You Should Do In 2017 popped in my head.  So here goes…

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Turning 35 in December put me smack dab in the middle of my 30s and Lord it hit me and I wasn’t READY!  But now as I look at my career over the past few years, six years in the military, a near year of working at Child Support Services (Not ideal for the working man), and in the middle of my ninth year in the traditional classroom (middle school teacher)…I am ready for something different.

I have earned multiple degrees (A.A.S., A.A., B.A., MPA, Ed.S., and Ed.D.), so now I want to transition into Higher Education.  So on with the pursuit!  If there is something that you want to do, the worse that can happen is being told no, but that does not mean give up.  That just means pour yourself into your pursuit.  It’s time and I feel in my gut that it is going to happen. This is my year!  So follow your instincts and take a leap, you just might enjoy the ride.  *Refreshing my resume, LinkedIn, Higher Ed. jobs account, and EVERYTHING else.*  Wish me luck!

Plan the Vacation You’ve Always Wanted to Taketaking-a-vacation-in-the-middle-of-a-class

I found, booked, and fully paid for a cruise to Jamaica in 2014, but due to extenuating circumstances I was unable to go so I loss $1500.  Sounds like chump change right?  No the hell it don’t.  But after sitting at home these past two holidays…Thanksgiving and Christmas… I have decided I bet I won’t be here next year.  It is time to plan my trip to Jamaica and anywhere else I want to go.  I will escape my home life and you should too.  Whether it’s domestic or international, invest in yourself, your peace of mind, and take yourself somewhere that you’ve always wanted to go.  Jamaica…Aruba…Virgin Islands…Turks and Caicos… I swear I must have been an islander in my past life and thank goodness I already have a PASSPORT.

Write and Publish Your Own Book61yromeb5hl                                                      Everyone has a story or two to tell.  We are all made unique and our life experiences shape us into divine individuals.  For some my life as a country girl from a single parent home that has grown up to do the things I have done is inspiring and for some it might be a bore.  But what I know is that regardless of your backstory, somebody is interested in reading it.  Writing My Fourth Year in Middle School: The Truth About Teaching was extremely personal because it was my journey into teaching.  It’s not about the money; it’s about sharing my words, my talent, and my expressions.  So I challenge you all to put it on paper and watch it grow.  Tell your story…someone needs to hear it.

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Being recently separated after being married for a couple of years, I am suddenly facing no longer being married (I’m not mad, I’m GOOD and so is LIFE).  Oh My Goodness I was blindsided by some things but clearly it was time to let go.  But there are some really good looking men in this world so when a man steps correctly-spend time with him, get to know him, Netflix and Chill with himJ  Ain’t nothing wrong with kicking it with the opposite sex…respect your space…set your boundaries….but be an adult about all of that.  Have a crush, get you a kiss, hold hands, go to movies…throw on some Xscape and Just Kick It! YOLO! LOL!

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I have decided that I will purchase gift cards each month leading into the holiday season, but I need my NEST EGG to be back where it used to be.  Don’t get caught up in helping others (the parentals are not included) that you tell yourself NO.  I used to be able to have a few thousands in my savings but when you HELP someone too often you end HURTING yourself.  I don’t know anything about 501ks, stocks, bonds, cd’s…so that is going to be my next INVESTMENT…  I need my duckets lined up in a row.  My teacher retirement is one thing but the way my mind set up… Give Me More!  I’m trying to save enough for all of those rainy days…besides by the time my rays of sunshine (Lil Phil and Pressy) go on to college, I’ll be paying out of pocket! Jesus Fix It!  I need and you need your savings to match your mortgage and car note for at least three months.  I’m Just Saying!

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Blogs are the new diary.  Everybody can become Bridgette Jones.  Yes everyone has one but what is the message in your blog?  Crazily everyone is taking this blogging business haphazardly as I look around at people with profitable blogs.  You may not be looking today to express your thoughts, share your life, or build your platform but you have something to say and share.  I love my journey.  I love my blog and the feedback I get from it lets me know that I am reaching further than I imagined.  I am not really stuck on lifestyle, spirituality, or beauty…but now people are turning their personal interests into a business, and so should you.

Don’t Dwell on the Past

No one cares about your past unless you make it a reoccurring topic.  You have to ask yourself how am I going to build a brighter future.  Dwelling in the past does not propel your future.  Jobs/careers are not always dreamy, relationships fail, and life is always a battlefield you just have to decide to have faith or stress about what you can’t control.  Everyone has a past.  Live for today and take nothing for granted because your life has already been designed, outlined, and determined.  Because of my faith I am where I am supposed to be and I don’t REGRET a single thing.  Let Go and Move On!

In this New Year, I will strike out like never before and accomplish more.  I saw a meme that said it nice to see girls names on degrees rather than club flyers…check my resume…check my LinkenIn… these 7 Things You Should Do in 2017  will most definitely help me and YOU #BragDifferent

 ~TilyaRealEyes

35 Random Thoughts on the Eve of my 35th Birthday

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I’m sitting here under my chocolate, velvet throw blanket on this gloomy day one day before my birthday.  Tomorrow is MY National Holiday and I have the most random, sincere, thought-provoking and heartbreaking thoughts running through my mind.

35. The holidays have seemed to go by in a blur since 2009.

34. This is the first Christmas that my children have gone without seeing their father. (I’m sure someone will make sure to tell on me for this one… good for you!)

33.  My children really do have everything they could ever ask for…go karts don’t count because they had gas powered four wheelers when they much younger (like 5 and 7)

32.  How is the world did I manage to forget to renew my driver’s license the day before my birthday.

31.  My husband’s problems overshadowed my graduation in June… I got my Doctorate, he lost his job shortly after.

30. One of my older cousins was murdered Mother’s Day weekend…we weren’t close but my mom was one of his favorite aunt’s.

29. It took me five years to complete my degree…Doctor of Education…I’m so damn proud of myself.

28. I self-published my first book and what an experience that has been.  I’m proud of myself.

27. My babies are growing up…Lil Phil will be 13 in March, I’m not ready.

26. Preston is going to be in the 6th grade next school term; I am going to cry my eyes out…he’s my heartbeat.

25.  I’m ready to transition into Higher Education…

24.  One day I have got to make it to Jamaica…that is my dream trip. (Who’s going with me?)

23.  I got so focused on someone else that I forgot to keep my “star player” in check…#LIFELESSON

22.  I decided that I really like Patron…Anejo (the orange box)…it’s so smooth

21.  I need a new hobby…I’m considering couponing (my children eat a lot)

20.  I binge watched the third season of Power and it was alright, Angela really upset by turning on Ghost in the end… I blame Tommy!

19. I really have been living separately from HIM since July…trying to support his job opportunities.  Now it’s a permanent separation! (Someone else will tell on me for this one too… Good job to you too!)

18. September introduced a shift in the atmosphere and I realized I had to get some things in order…your gut don’t lie.

17.  It was time to lose weight, and I lost 20 lbs.  I guess a little stress and watching what you eat does that to you.

16. I know most of these things on this list are not directly about me but they consume my thoughts.

15.  For the past few months I literally have been waking up at 3:30 each morning, praying then going back to sleep.  I can’t explain it, but my spirit just wasn’t resting well.

14.  Some people think that I am strong because of the things that I have experienced, but most days I feel so anti and want to stay home because I get tired of PUSHING through the BS.

13.  I have stopped trying to see the good in everybody…I either fool with you or I don’t…and if I don’t trust me, you’ll know.

12.  Football season for my son’s was LIT!  Preston got faster…he’s a beast…Young Primetime…Randy Moss in the making.  I just adore him.

11.  There is nothing wrong with coming home to the confines of my four walls and not fooling with people.  I’ll socialize when I’m good and damn ready.

10. Being friends is better than relationships sometimes because as friends there are no lines to worry about crossing…laugh, have a good time, go your separate ways until you connect again!  I Will Sing Sing this with a smile on my face!

9.  Next year my plans will be laid out clearly and I will accomplish all of the goals that I set for myself…2017 is going to be EPIC!

8.  God told me to sit down and not be so busy… I did then I was able to see.

7.  God then told me to be quiet so I did then I was able to hear.

6.  God told me to be honest so I was, then my heart became lighter; I was no longer caring the burden of unfulfilled love.

5.  I got the toxic people out of my life and I’m still standing.  Who cares what other’s think?  People are going to talk anyway and only understand from their level of perception.

4.  As hard as I work, I will never let another person bring me down again…I’ve accomplished too much.  My resume looks GREAT at 35…IJS!

3.  My heart is not hardened but I will guard my heart because it is the source of life.  Love can come later…I’ll pass for now.

2.  Who would have thought that three years after meeting someone they would become a distant memory.

1. 35 is another milestone.  In my new year the goals I have set for myself can only be deterred by me and I am too ambitious to let myself down.

Happy Birthday to Me! 35 is year of dreams come true! 2017—7 the number of completion…I can’t wait to see what I will complete in the new year.