11 Summers of Reflection

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In a friendly conversation I was asked if I reflect on my life.  I had to resist saying, “Duh!” because it would have been childish, but it turned into a fruitful conversation and a serious train of thought for me.  Since coming into the new year, I promised myself that I wouldn’t dwell in the past, but some things are worth remembering.  Today I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and knew that I had to sit down for this blog post.

I separated from the Air Force in 2007, the summer of 2007 and here I am now, not working my 11th summer and still getting paid.  That is a blessing!  Not because I’m an educator, but it is a blessing that I have a career that I love and it frees up my time to pursue my passion during breaks and holidays.  My website and blog are my outlet to practice my writing skills as I crank out my inspirational nonfiction.  I never thought nonfiction would have been the genre of my first two books My Fourth Year in Middle School:  The Truth About Teaching (2016) and Brown Sugar Magic: Goal Setting and Reflections Journal (2017).

So here we go, 11 Summers of Reflection…

2007:  I was scared out of my mind to be separating from the Air Force after six years because I was concerned with finding a job.  It didn’t matter that I had earned two associates degrees, my bachelors, and was separating honorably, I was preparing in my mind for my future.  I settled into my new home back in my home state and pushed dozens of my resume and applications out.  I chose to go work for the Office of Child Support Services.  In eight months I learned that child support enforcement is not the kind of job I wanted.  Thankfully I was a forward thinker and able to move on.

2008: The summer of newness.  After working for the State of Georgia for a hot minute… I was impressive enough to secure interviews in April of 2008 to become a teacher.  So mid-way through my Master’s program leading into the summer, I was blessed enough to not work a second summer in a row, and still collect a check.  My Essentials to Teaching class was an eye-opener, but I was excited to take on a new challenge and start my new career as a teacher.  I had no idea what I was getting into.

2009:  This summer broke me just a little….  I had been with my high school crush since 2001 right before joining the Air Force, but at the end of my first year of teaching we had a MAJOR fight… the fight was the snowball to that marriage.  I celebrated my first year of teaching, the highs and lows.  I found love for the classroom and for the students I taught.  I moved forward with my career while crying my eyes out at night, but pulling it together to be SUPER mom for my boys.  We separated.  Tough Summer!

2010:  I had filed for divorce, experienced a fling with a blast from the past and when that didn’t work, I flew to Puerto Rico.  It was just the getaway that I needed.  Now there is no need for details, but being around a familiar and trustworthy face made the trip worth it.  We ate, we drank, we talked.  I loved him but we understood that our love was not to be explored beyond where we were at.  We were adults… still distant friends… Truly someone I will never forget.  I see his life now and I’m extremely happy for him.

2011:  I had completed my third year of teaching and I had some tough decisions to make.  Reconcile completely or not to reconcile at all.  Things were not adding up so I made a choice to walk away.  After someone says they don’t like the word marriage, you walk away.  I never work summer school, but one of my friends had the bright idea to start a book club and we had the most fun ever.  The book club fell to wayside because life happened but shortly after the summer, September to be exact, I was officially divorced.  After all according to that spouse, marriage was just a piece of paper.  Ain’t no way hell was I about that life.

2012:  This was my summer of sexy!  I had officially become a homeowner and hosted my housewarming party.  This was one of the most rewarding experiences I had in a lifetime.  Becoming a homeowner and decorating my home was the best feeling ever.  I could not have been more excited in this year of independence.  I loved every moment of my freedom to do as I chose.

2013: Summer of blur.  I was in a relationship.  It was fun.  It was combative.  Two summers post divorce, and second summer of home ownership.  I had tunnel vision and was completing my last required courses towards my doctorate.  I was trying to be a free spirit and finding myself all over again.

2014:  Let’s call this the summer of love.  I was smitten. I was engaged. I was a nervous wreck.  I was trying!  I think I tried and cried so hard this particular summer.  I honestly don’t know if I was coming or going.  But that is all apart of life.  The struggle to get to what is real.

2015:  The summer of laughter.  A beautiful summer of grilling, slip and slides for the kids, Tybee Island, Jekyll Island, and Summer Waves.  WE had fun…a lot of fun.  I was oblivious and living in the moment.  I was happy.  My boys were growing up and mama was having a life too.  Life could not have been more grand than what it was.

2016:  Revelations and Celebrations!  A year ago I was flying back from Fort Lauderdale after walking across the grand stage to receive my Doctorate of Education.  I was starting my “business” of writing and blogging and trying to figure things out.  I published my book and was on an emotional high.  Of course some things did not feel right in my marriage, but I took things in stride and accepted some harsh realities.  The highs of cruising to the Bahamas a second time, Florida, and family kept me motivated.  I was continuing to come into my own.

2017:  The journey to here!  I am elated to be standing because I know who I am.  I know the impact I have on my LOVED ones, and the RESPECT I have earned in my career, my family, my friends, and my life.  The story is still being written as I’m WRITING!  So do I reflect on my LIFE?  Hell yes I reflect on my life and I am forever grateful for all of my experiences.  The GOOD and the BAD.  The HURTFUL and the LOVING.

In my 11 summers I have made time for myself.  I love myself and the woman that I continue to become.  Others will wonder how I do it?  I’ll just say that it’s the drive and the God in me.  I’m not perfect, I’m original.

Live~Reflect~Write~Learn

LaTilya Rashon

7 Reasons I Take A Selfie Each Day

File_000In life we wake up some days feeling like we can conquer the world and other days we wake up not feeling 100% ready to face the world.  There is happiness when everything little thing in your life makes you smile, laugh, and feel special whether it’s daily or for short period of time.  In those moments that you feel special you want to capture your glow and show your beauty to the world.  Your world may be your social media following but when your face appears on someone’s timeline it may give them the breath of fresh air they need.

However, in this day in time where taking the best selfie could take many tries at the best angle; we strive to capture our best angles and put out best face forward.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there is nothing wrong with taking your picture everyday if you want to.  You may not post your picture each day but in your own time and self-reflection see things about yourself and in yourself that you need to work on.  Keeping with my lists, I have decided that after this storm that had been raging in my life, I’d like to share the 7 Reasons I Take A Selfie Each Day.

File_007Sunday- I wake-up refreshed and renewed ready to go sit in the Lord’s house (not every Sunday) to get the spiritual cleansing I need.  On this day I am happy that I have breath in my body and that I have favor on my life to push me forward even when I feel like my faith has wavered.  Sometimes I have to just get up and go to church in order to get my mind right and press on even when I am not feeling my best.  I capture my moment of clarity and say Thank You Jesus!File_002

Monday- It is the start of my work week.  Everybody disdains Monday because the weekend went by entirely too fast.  However, sometimes on Monday I am are ready to tackle my work week and knock out some tasks I desperately need to get done.  Mondays aren’t always pretty but it is the day I jump start my productivity and take charge of my objectives, goals, and everything that pushes me towards my purpose.  In this moment I capture my determination and focus and paint that picture in my heaFile_003

Tuesday- It’s not quite the middle of the week, it’s still the top of the week and this day has already gotten long.  I’m running to take care of my children, go to the store, squeeze in a workout, I’m practically living in my car.  I’m a mom on the go and as much as I would like to slow down, it is impossible to slow down with so much to do.  I take my picture and laugh at my busy schedule because for the most part, I’m ALWAYS in my car.File_005

Wednesday- It’s HUMP DAY! The middle of the week is exciting because in two more days I don’t have to move if I don’t want.  But I must lay Wednesday down, contemplate going to Bible Study which in the past I regularly attended, but now I find comfort in my home and perhaps eating some chicken wings and French fries and calling it a night.  There is nothing too special about this day other than my work week in almost over and have by now written a new blog, added followers to my social media and finding ways to network. I’m doing what I love…writing so I snap a picture, not necessarily of me of a symbol of my passion.File_006

Thursday- It’s FRIDAY JR!  I’m in my car screaming, “Why isn’t this week over yet?”  I’m not rushing the week to be over, but I’m ready to rest.  My children have driven my crazy at school this particular day and I’m two seconds from snapping. But I have to remember that I need my job, so I will watch my mouth.  LOL!  I can control my mouth, but this face has a mind of it’s own. I capture my frustration, my frown lines, and say, “Jesus take the wheel.”File_001

Friday-  I like those Fridays that fall during a break or holidays because I’m in no rush to do anything.  But when I do, I take my time, make myself look pretty and step out looking so fresh and so clean.  I never waste and opportunity to snap a shot, post a pic and keep it moving.  On these days I feel the weight of the world leave my shoulders and I relax.  In these moments, I’m Doing Me…Being Me…For Me!File_004

Saturday- I will be officially lazy.  I’m in my bed or on my chaise lounge not moving because I don’t want.  I play on my chromebook and officially have my iphone attached to my hand.  Of course it’s more selfie time as I experiment with my make-up in my bathroom.  Fix an adult beverage or three and relax.  I spend time with friends sometimes, or run around at football games with my sons.  My selfie game is on point and by day seven I have found the best lighting, angle, and position.

My sadness may be there for some to see.  Friends that know me understand how I shield my disappointments.  I once read somewhere that people take pictures of things that they don’t want to lose.  I work hard to not lose myself in all of my situations, life turmoil, and setbacks that could be sure to take someone unlike me, OUT!  I take my picture as a time stamp for where I was at physically, mentally, and emotionally in my life.  There is nothing wrong with capturing my highs and my lows.  I am who I POST to be…Perfectly Imperfect…Taking Risks…Discovering More About Myself…all while continuing to put my beautiful confusion on display.

Take your picture!  Post your picture and try not to take things so seriously.

The Emancipation of LaTilya

Divorce is not a curse.  In my case it has turned out to be a blessing.  I have replayed the last seven months in my mind and I am at peace with everything that has happened.  I made a smart choice for me to not stay in a bad situation where the relationship just was not working.  I say it time and time again that no one gets married just to turn around and get divorced, but in my case it was necessary.

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Often times we try to hold to someone because you try to make the good outweigh the bad and hold on because you see potential.  Promises, potential, and intention can only get you so far when you begin to realize that your spouse’s words do not match their actions.

At first I felt like a failure because hey I’m young and divorced now twice.  I thought I’d be judged for my failed marriage and I would be blamed, when the reality truly is, he just did not appreciate who I was as his wife.  He has since tried to apologize a couple of times, but as soon as I walked out of the courtroom I BLOCKED his number.  There is POWER in blocking someone out of your life.

I completely spazzed out and lost my mind back in September wanting to lash out at him for hurting me and breaking our vows, but I had to let that go.  No it was not easy because after all for the few years we were together I believed everything he ever said to me.  There was nothing or no one that could have ever made me feel otherwise about him.

But I have.  See I learned a valuable and eyeopening lesson as the relationship began to fail.  Those true colors came shining through and one day I just woke and realized that I had had enough and I needed to let it go.  I vowed to come into 2017 not carrying emotional baggage that would do nothing more than slow me down.  The marriage was over, I just had to officially file for the divorce.  I DID and it was FINALIZED a month ago.

I have not seen him since Christmas Eve and that was the day that it all came crashing down into a pile of rubble.  I am not ashamed of having a heart and opening my life up to someone and accepting them for who they were.  I was not a nag.  I was a pretty damn good wife.  But I would never be enough to someone who was not ready for me.  For someone who could not love me how I deserved to be loved.  I was not the one for a man that didn’t not value my worth.  Even though he pursued our relationship and popped the magical question.

I did not settle for an unhealthy relationship.  I have continued to smile while all hell was breaking loose around me.  I am not perfect but I know it was nothing but God’s grace that has seen me through.  I will continue to pray and seek his face because I know that prayer does work.

I do not wish break-ups, divorce, and hardships on anyone because it’s not in my heart.  I have no ill-will towards anyone.  I sleep well at night because my heart is pure.  Sure I will confuse people, and people may even wonder where I come from, but I am a unique woman.  I’m brashly complex, intelligent and emotional.  I’m simultaneously nice and mean (only if you cross me).

 I’m real! I’m really really real! LOL!

I will love again!  I have love in my heart!  I will be unapologetic for how I love!

I believe in love in it’s purest form…

The highest expression of love is to give without expecting,
The highest expression of love is to accept without expectations.

~India Arie

The Emancipation of LaTilya

It’s Been A Year Already

So on March 10, 2016 I revamped my blog, switched over to wordpress after leaving blogspot and a stream of creativity has taken over.

A year ago I was living a life that I was pretty sure was pretty content not knowing that in the months to come that that life would be shaken up.

A year ago I was super elated to find out that my Internal Review Board (IRB) had been approved for my dissertation so all I had to do was edit my chapters four and five and be primed and ready to submit my final report roughly around the beginning of May 2016.

A year ago I hunkered down and decided to finish my first writing project.  My chromebook was permanently attached to my hand so everyone around me knew that whatever I was doing had to be serious.

A year ago seems so far away compared to where I am now.  It’s been a year and http://www.tilyarealeyes.com has matured into grown woman status.

I look back at my experimental titles and it is clear that I was working on my niche.  I was inundated by creating email lists (I finally created the right lead in and magnet campaign), and trying to figure out how to make myself standout in the crowd.  I played around with all of my social media and just felt like I was floundering.  I even wrote about it in my epic blog turned free download, What No One Tells You About Blogging.  I tried several things and now I feel like I’m finding my groove.

So what is my niche?

Interestingly enough writing about life and the realities we face as people comes naturally.  There is a lot of experience inside of my compact frame and as I share my perspectives I inadvertently influence streams of consciousness.  Everything I share is based on observation, conversation, and my original spin of the subject matter.

A year later, “tilyarealeyes” has expanded its categorical reach.  The short stories have peeked interest and needs to be revisited.  I’ve just had a lot going on.  The List Series is a major hit and because my Soror/Bestie Karimah encouraged me to do videos last summer, and since then I have made 4 in 2017.  The 7 Things You Should Do in 2017 has been my signature statement because I have found a new lease on life, and I’m happily divorced and simply living.  My soror/lil Tori spoke about seven being the number of completion when I published that blog.  Ironically I met a man whose birthday is the 7th day of January on his birthday.  He is symbolism at it’s finest.

It’s been a year and I have two books out there that I don’t even think that at the time of beginning to blog again, I would have taken that risk.  I play it very safe with my words and my talent.  Because I am so hard on myself the thought of someone else criticizing (unless it’s positive) my words makes me nervous.  I’m a situational perfectionist.  I am very protective of me.  However, I am most proud of Brown Sugar Magic because of the message of affirmation, reflection and celebration that I am trying to have women establish about themselves.

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A year later I have learned through experience the value of being goal oriented.  Had I not established the specific goals I had set for myself, there is no way I could advise my Brown Sugar Sisters on how to be SMART about the things they set out to do.

Writing my second published project I had to be in touch with my needs.  Being happy and having esteem of myself kept me focused.  Sometimes we get lost in the sauce but that does not equate to not addressing your needs.  I had to address the desires of my heart and realize that I needed to safeguard my energy.  I can’t afford to get worked up about situation that have already been worked out beyond my control.

I had to rely on the love I have for myself as I wrote part three of Brown Sugar Magic. Loving myself more made room for me to work through my disappointments.  My life took a hit, but I forgive myself for my bad choices.  I trust that everything happens for a reason.  I revamp and revise my goals on the regular.  I am able to stay the course because of my self-love.

As I closed out Brown Sugar Magic, my key thing was to highlight the fun you should be having.  I am having the time of my life tending to me and not being tied down by titles or expectations.  That does not mean I am closed up and living like a hermit.  That means that I have the liberty to love who I choose without expectation.

A year later my life has changed but I am living a more abundant life than I ever could have imagined.  The things I am experiencing takes me to a different place.  My conversation has changed.  My ambition is in overdrive.  I am focused on building my brand, “LaTilya Rashon”, and being the best “influencer” I can be.

2017 has opened my eyes.  I’m walking this walk with my eyes wide open.  I am not naive to the negativity.  A year later my blog has grown into more mature conversation but so has my mindset as the woman behind the blog.

No subliminal messages.  No hidden agendas.  When you know who you are, you become a target and a threat.  Do the work and reflections in Brown Sugar Magic and you will reclaim your life like never before.

A year ago I was defining marriage.  A year later I am encouraging self-actualization. Unleash your magic!

~LaTilya Rashon

I Want Your Soul: Mind, Body, and Emotions

Love is a funny thing. Everybody no matter how they fight it or receive it wants to be love, cherished, and appreciated.  You will have many loves in a lifetime but how many of those loves will actually teach you something that will last a lifetime?

You may love someone’s smile.  You might love their conversation.  You will love their style of dress.  Personality will most definitely win you over too.  But let’s dig a little deeper and go beyond the surface level of love and really discuss what your kind of love looks like.

There are plenty of books out there that talk about love, love languages, sacred relationships, and intimacy.  As individuals we believe in soulmates.  We believe in feeling complete when in a fulfilling relationship but often times we meet the representatives without really meeting the person behind the façade. Not knowing the person claiming to love you unfortunately leads to disaster. However, when the conversation change and you mature, you realize you want someone to speak to your soul not just your body.  You want someone that sees you beyond the physical and feeds your mental.

Mind

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Your mind travels many places in a day.  You remember the good times and you remember the bad times but intellectually you want a mate that is stimulating.  Have your own skill set and be good at the things that you are good at, but show interest in the things that your mate likes.  When you are able to keep your clothes own and feel stimulated without any physical touch you may have struck a goldmine.  Conversation about your likes and dislikes, places to visit, past experiences, lifelong learning, and future aspirations will keep the relationship thriving.  Sharing your vulnerabilities, deepest thoughts, and inner most desires while looking someone in the eyes takes impeccable strength.  It is not easy to express yourself without hesitation when you have had so many bad experiences in the past.  But when the conversation is not rushed, and develops organically the mind opens up so the soul is being captured.

Body

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Sex is sex so let’s not get it twisted.  However, when you reach a certain level of comfort with someone the levels of ecstasy grow.  Having a stimulating conversation that makes your erotic zones tingle takes the physical connection deeper.  A new sexual partner is a mystery.  A new relationship takes time to get fully comfortable in, but when true chemistry exists, each experience is new no matter how many times your bodies connect.  That is a true expression of love.  Vulnerability of your heart carries over into every aspect of your interaction with the opposite sex when you are open to new situations.  When you are giving of your body to someone you are completely comfortable with, there is no limit to what you will do.  Even the good book says (of a man and wife though) that the bedroom is undefiled.  Capturing your mates soul ultimately leads to intimacy and if the connection is genuine the physical interactions will be explosive.

Emotions

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H-Town had one of the best songs ever with the signature line, “emotions make you cry sometimes”, but that line is so true.  Rather coincidental or by design meeting someone that awakens your senses pushes you beyond your comfort level.  You find yourself smiling more, thinking more, and anticipating one on one time like you have never experienced before.  I am sure that with age comes wisdom and maturity, but that is not always the case.  Sometimes you’ll meet the right person at the wrong time, you’ll meet the right person for the season of change in your life, and you’ll meet the right person at the right time.  In all of these chance meetings in life, you are supposed to learn something that you hadn’t experienced before.  You’ll love the wrong person with immense intensity, you’ll love someone because they seem like the right fit for your life in that season, and then you’ll truly love someone and the essence of their being.

I don’t think there are a lot of men that speak on capturing your soul to love and to have but when they do speak in such a manner pay attention to their actions.  It’s like the Dead Prez song “Mind Sex”

It’s time for some mind sex, we ain’t got to take our clothes off yet

We can burn the incense, and just chat

Relax, I got the good vibrations

Before we make love let’s have a good conversation

If he shows you he wants your soul, not pressuring you, and taking his time to get to know you perhaps it is beyond the physical.  Build the friendship…enjoy the situation…don’t let your soul mate dissipate…

I want your soul…teach you a few things…learn from you…see where this goes

I want your soul…all of you… mind, body, and emotions…

~LaTilya Rashon

Let Go Of What Was, Embrace What Is To Come

In the pursuit of greatness I sometimes find myself side-tracked, off task, distracted, and shut down.  I take those times to think, reflect, regroup, and re-channel my energy into something productive.  My blog is my refuge and outlet.  My blog is my safe place even though my words are very public.

In this second month of this New Year I am going to take the time to live and timeshare because life is too short to sit still, be unhappy, and missing out on great opportunities.  I have vowed in 2017 to do a lot of things that will propel my life and I am going to let one of my focuses for this month be to Not Dwell on the Past.letting-go

The intricate details of my life have been discussed, chronicled throughout my personal journals, this blog, and my book.  I have been told that I reveal too much at times and I should keep some things to myself, but I disagree.  I have stated that I share my story because someone may be inspired by the things I say, have experienced, and ultimately have revealed.

It is no secret that I was married at the tender age of 21 and that union lasted eight years and my two amazing sons were gifts from that union.   I learned a lot about myself in my twenties.  I was a firecracker, easily set off and ready to blow at any given moment.  I have since grown up past that, but sometimes I feel that heat rising and I have to take a step back. RELAX AND RELEASE!

It is also no secret that I just filed for divorce, and this is a mixed blessing.  I was swept off my feet in the beginning of that relationship but things changed.  Changed so drastically that I don’t even recognize who I was in that marriage.  So who I was a year ago is not who I am today since making the conscious decision to live life more abundantly.  You cannot control how someone treats you, nor can you hope that someone will change, that has to be a personal choice.  So today and from this day forward I CHOOSE ME.

Lately, there have been so many relationships around me falling apart that it makes me wonder what is really going on.  You’d think in the cold months someone would want to be cuffed, but I am seeing some really great women being taken for granted that were in COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS…primarily MARRIAGES.  It throws me because in general we learn how people feel about us based on how they treat you.  Those red flags be there… The tell-tell signs were ever-present, but HOPE had us holding on…

RED FLAGS

I don’t want a relationship (outright being stated loud and clear)

Random phone calls

Random texts

Sporadic behavior (disappearing acts, no calls, no quality time, IGNORING)

Endless excuses

Things just truly not making sense (LIES, LIES, LIES)

I won’t dwell on the past (all of those red flags) because my future is too bright to not take time out to enjoy myself with people that want to spend time with me.  I would rather share my time with someone who appreciates the whole me, not just my likable parts! It’s all about timesharing!  Nope I’m not talking about vacationing, but if that occurs then, so be it.

I’d rather share my time over late night conversations and pancakes versus loud clubs and hot wings (even though I love chicken).  Being asked on an actual date to see a movie that ends in a hug rather than Netflix and Chill (even though I keep my finger on the remote ready to binge watch what’s poppin).  My idea of timesharing is about making eye contact and talking about current events, while watching television and getting your feet massaged. YES THINGS LIKE THIS REALLY HAPPEN. 

Acknowledging that you like someone’s company with no strings attached because you don’t want a commitment but the potential is present.  Be myself to point of endless laughter because the chemistry is beyond the physical, it is encompassed by the mental and the spiritual and nurturing the emotional.  I want to share my energy with someone that will pick my brain for unanswered questions because they find it stimulating and exciting.  Sharing a cocktail or two of your favorite beverage just to unwind from your day because it’s nice to listen to music and not feel rushed to do anything other than what you are doing.  Intimate Happy Hour please!

The list goes on and on about the kind of experiences that make time sharing worth my while and someone pretty AMAZING would have to come along to make me believe in and feel LOVE again.  All women want to be loved…pay attention love is not just words, it’s actions as well.

Not dwelling on the past and time sharing opens up the door for two-way support, open communication, and a drama free existence.  Cuddling, macchiatos at Starbucks, working out in the gym keeping it tight and right, and meeting someone at the store just to be on the same aisle as them has the element of  satisfaction that is enough to keep someone thinking, blushing, and reminiscing for hours and days at a time.  This is a reality that many women could only dream about happening.  A reality relishing in the enjoyment of a man craving the essence of your being in order to make the friendship stronger and the connection longer lasting.

I have heard it before and now I really get it…

Let a man change your life, teach you some things, make love to my soul before he change your status.

No longer dwelling…embracing what is to come…

~LaTilya Rashon

Are You Nina Mosley?

Are You Nina Mosley?

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A casual outing can turn into a life changing experience regardless of the circumstances.

Reading the Good Book we learn that there is time for everything.

Ecclesiastes 3New International Version (NIV)

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:    a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

People often tell you to be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.  But that is kind of the point.  Life is not as cut and dry as people would like it to be and we indeed need shifts to happen in our lives to give us redirection and focus.

Even when we feel like our lives are out of our control, keeping with the idea to pray until something happens we see the weight of our lives drop from our shoulders.  A lot of times we go through so much that we forget how to take care of ourselves.  So I have to ask are you Nina Mosley?

In the fictional character Nina Mosley from the urban classic, Love Jones, she is a woman that has sustained a break-up from her fiancé and getting back into the groove of things.  She meets a handsome stranger, Darius Lovehall, and just when she is thinking they will just be friends, things take a turn over the course of their interactions.

Ladies whether we admit it or not, we want breakfast in bed, we want to be wined and dined, and ultimately we want to be loved and adored.  But are we ready for these kind gestures when the situation is placed in your lap?

With so many relationship experts, life coaches, and counselors in this world, I find it humanly impossible to rely on “man” to tell me as woman what I may or may not be ready for.  For instance, Nina meets Darius and they have fun, simple and plain until they realize that the comfort level of their relationship is unmatched in the arms of someone else.

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Is it okay to be Nina Mosley and have fun with someone on your own accord and not care about the opinion of others?  Is it okay to spend uncounted hours with someone after a serious break-up?  People have no idea the pain you deal with behind closed doors but be so ready to judge you openly based on their perception of you and your situation.

Holding your pain inside will keep you sheltered but when you let things go you realize that everything you have gone through is beautiful.  You have to commit to making your life better in order to feel better.  Could you imagine if social media was as popular in relationships then as we watch the love unfold between Nina and Darius, as it is now with all of these relationships and “situationships”?  Nina and Darius would not have stood a chance.

Ideally, some of the conversations that spark during the movie, the tension, the intimacy, and the feelings that emerge is what make everything a love jones.  Everyone wants to be loved.  Everyone wants compassion.  Everyone wants a companion.  However, there is no time limit for these things to happen.  Going back to my original scripture, as you continue to read, the Good Book says that God will make things beautiful in his timing.

In your flesh you can’t help who you like. You can’t help who you adore.  You can’t stop falling in love with someone who gives you a feeling that you have never felt before.  It is all his timing.  Even when you don’t ask for something, He has the powerful gift of giving you just what you need.

Are you Nina Mosley?  Do you recognize the time?  Where are you in your relationship status?  Do you care what others think?  If you are free and open, and have no regard for the opinion of others and are simply living your life and enjoying the life you have been presented through the difficult times; then yes you are.

~LaTilya Rashon