We all live with the desire to be with someone who may not be as emotionally available as we would like them to be. Speaking as a divorcee’ you would think that I would be done with love and want no parts of it. Well…WRONG!
I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in love. A few months ago I wrote about infatuation, lust, and love strictly from my perspective because I was caught up in the rapture of newness. Newly dating and having the time of my life. One of the best dates I have been on to date was staying at Twelve and being surprised with attendance to a Ro James concert. I never felt so special in my life and it got me thinking… if HE can be this great to me as a friend, I would love for him to someday be more than my friend.
But relationships are a scary thing and it is hard to move on into a new and comfortable situation when you carry baggage from a previous situation. So sometimes we find ourselves in the proverbial friend zone. It is uncomfortable there because you look at your friend with wanting desire as you read, re-read, and read again the texts you have sent and received from each other that you pass off as flirting. Then you find yourself SINGLE but your heart is TAKEN. That feeling SUCKS! So what do you do?
You try to take things one day at a time as you pine away at your friend because they are absolutely everything you want in a significant other. You jump head first into heavy flirtation, spending countless hours together then there is a shift. Things have gotten to hot and heavy…Passionate even because you know each other and you become yin and yang. It makes sense that you want to be together, but then it doesn’t make sense when things slow down almost to a scratching halt. Emotional Baggage!
You can’t be more to someone when you aren’t ready for that type of commitment. When things begin to feel like a relationship but it’s not makes things complicated. You can’t hold on to someone that needs space because then they outgrow you. Holding on too tight hurts just as bad as letting go. So you break up even though you were never together but it feels like a break up because of all of the AMAZING things that happened over the course of time.
Relationships are one sided the majority of the time. Someone is going to like more, love more, adore more, and want more. Someday someone will want all of those things with me. In the meantime, I’ll wait… just hanging out in the friend zone…
Someday, I will be your girl…