I have had to take my time to write this blog because so much has been going on. True to form I have been thinking, over thinking, and thinking some more to give myself clarity and the reality is, I don’t need to rush a thing.
I rebirthed my blog a year ago and I had big plans to relaunch, refocus, and try some different things in 2017 and while I have tried some new things, I will take my time with my other moves.
In reflective mode, I had to remind myself that six months before my 35th birthday I graduated with my Doctorate in Education. This may seem redundant for me to say, but shit I am only 35 years old with an impressive resume and experience. I have been working since I was 16 years old, but when I joined the United States Air Force in 2001 I had no idea what direction my life was going to take. At 19 years old I struck out on my own, broke away from my mom and decided to discover life the way I wanted to live.
Living in New Jersey from December 2001 until June 2007, I experienced a lot, learned a lot, cried a lot, did a lot. I kept a journal, more like a 5 subject notebook of everything I was going through at that time. That journal, those memories are the foundation of my adulthood. I made careless decisions with my heart and my body. I made emotional decisions that altered my perception of myself. I had to learn how to be my number one cheerleader, hold my head up and search out ways to make me better. I have been soul searching my whole life and as I continue to learn more about myself, I love the woman I am becoming.
I’m not in a rush to conquer the world. I’m not in a rush to create without substance. I am taking the time I need to heal, plan, create, and discover just who after two marriages, 6 years in the Air Force, closing out 9 years of teaching, and 16 years of intermittent pursuits of higher degrees just who LaTilya is.
Jealousy is not one of my favorite words but when people mistreat you, judge you, and compare themselves to you; and you have been placed in a competition you want no parts of I find that I am there by default. However, I am reminded everyday that I should hold my head up and celebrate my accomplishments in life and not be bogged down by the things that are out of my control.
I cannot control what others think of me. I cannot make them understand the layers underneath. I have been “adulting” for a long time and the things, thoughts, and experiences in my life make me stronger, smarter, and more beautiful. I have awakened and everything I have gone through is beautiful.
I have survived:
- Two births by c-section. My sons are my biggest blessings.
- Two divorces that didn’t break me or my love. I know what I bring to the table.
- A career transition from the military after 6 years to teaching.
- 9 years in the classroom even though leadership has turned over each year.
- 5 years in my doctoral program…I can’t celebrate that enough.
- Deaths of family members over the years…blood is blood.
- Attacks on my character and being belittled for my drive and education.
- Financial ruins after being too helpful to unappreciative people.
- Being misunderstood. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for how I live and who I am.
This is my rebirth! I’m taking my time to smell the roses. I’m carving out and crafting my next book (The Journey to Here coming soon). I’m creating a goal setting and reflections journal (Brown Sugar Magic coming soon). I’m also sticking to one of my 7 Things You Should Do In 2017…I’m kicking it with my crush!
I have a full-time career…a home to maintain…and children to raise. There is no rush! Just creating memories and growing through my experiences. I’m choosing to be a rose!