In the pursuit of greatness I sometimes find myself side-tracked, off task, distracted, and shut down. I take those times to think, reflect, regroup, and re-channel my energy into something productive. My blog is my refuge and outlet. My blog is my safe place even though my words are very public.
In this second month of this New Year I am going to take the time to live and timeshare because life is too short to sit still, be unhappy, and missing out on great opportunities. I have vowed in 2017 to do a lot of things that will propel my life and I am going to let one of my focuses for this month be to Not Dwell on the Past.
The intricate details of my life have been discussed, chronicled throughout my personal journals, this blog, and my book. I have been told that I reveal too much at times and I should keep some things to myself, but I disagree. I have stated that I share my story because someone may be inspired by the things I say, have experienced, and ultimately have revealed.
It is no secret that I was married at the tender age of 21 and that union lasted eight years and my two amazing sons were gifts from that union. I learned a lot about myself in my twenties. I was a firecracker, easily set off and ready to blow at any given moment. I have since grown up past that, but sometimes I feel that heat rising and I have to take a step back. RELAX AND RELEASE!
It is also no secret that I just filed for divorce, and this is a mixed blessing. I was swept off my feet in the beginning of that relationship but things changed. Changed so drastically that I don’t even recognize who I was in that marriage. So who I was a year ago is not who I am today since making the conscious decision to live life more abundantly. You cannot control how someone treats you, nor can you hope that someone will change, that has to be a personal choice. So today and from this day forward I CHOOSE ME.
Lately, there have been so many relationships around me falling apart that it makes me wonder what is really going on. You’d think in the cold months someone would want to be cuffed, but I am seeing some really great women being taken for granted that were in COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS…primarily MARRIAGES. It throws me because in general we learn how people feel about us based on how they treat you. Those red flags be there… The tell-tell signs were ever-present, but HOPE had us holding on…
I don’t want a relationship (outright being stated loud and clear)
Random phone calls
Sporadic behavior (disappearing acts, no calls, no quality time, IGNORING)
Things just truly not making sense (LIES, LIES, LIES)
I won’t dwell on the past (all of those red flags) because my future is too bright to not take time out to enjoy myself with people that want to spend time with me. I would rather share my time with someone who appreciates the whole me, not just my likable parts! It’s all about timesharing! Nope I’m not talking about vacationing, but if that occurs then, so be it.
I’d rather share my time over late night conversations and pancakes versus loud clubs and hot wings (even though I love chicken). Being asked on an actual date to see a movie that ends in a hug rather than Netflix and Chill (even though I keep my finger on the remote ready to binge watch what’s poppin). My idea of timesharing is about making eye contact and talking about current events, while watching television and getting your feet massaged. YES THINGS LIKE THIS REALLY HAPPEN.
Acknowledging that you like someone’s company with no strings attached because you don’t want a commitment but the potential is present. Be myself to point of endless laughter because the chemistry is beyond the physical, it is encompassed by the mental and the spiritual and nurturing the emotional. I want to share my energy with someone that will pick my brain for unanswered questions because they find it stimulating and exciting. Sharing a cocktail or two of your favorite beverage just to unwind from your day because it’s nice to listen to music and not feel rushed to do anything other than what you are doing. Intimate Happy Hour please!
The list goes on and on about the kind of experiences that make time sharing worth my while and someone pretty AMAZING would have to come along to make me believe in and feel LOVE again. All women want to be loved…pay attention love is not just words, it’s actions as well.
Not dwelling on the past and time sharing opens up the door for two-way support, open communication, and a drama free existence. Cuddling, macchiatos at Starbucks, working out in the gym keeping it tight and right, and meeting someone at the store just to be on the same aisle as them has the element of satisfaction that is enough to keep someone thinking, blushing, and reminiscing for hours and days at a time. This is a reality that many women could only dream about happening. A reality relishing in the enjoyment of a man craving the essence of your being in order to make the friendship stronger and the connection longer lasting.
I have heard it before and now I really get it…
Let a man change your life, teach you some things, make love to my soul before he change your status.
No longer dwelling…embracing what is to come…