There is a golden rule that many people conveniently ignore until they feel that they have been done wrong. It is written in the great book,
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Matthew 7:12
But in this dog eat dog world it is hard to tell who is for you and who is against you. Relationships have a vital role in your everyday existence and today in a passing conversation I was enlightened on how quickly someone can violate your trust. I took to my Facebook account a few days ago and said that a blog would come later, so here I am. The focus today is Reciprocal Trust.
It is amazing how an innocuous exchange of words in friendly banter turns into a misleading interpretation of what really happened. As you build relationships with your mate, friends, family, and even colleagues it is important to foster trust. However, fostering trust comes with limitations because perception will deter every effort and attempt to build healthy relationships with individuals you come in contact with on a daily basis.
Take for instance TRUSTING your mate: Like with anything new, in the beginning it is exciting and new so your guard is down because the euphoria of love is all around you. It is not until temptation rears its ugly head that you begin to shift your trust and question the actions of the one you love the most. That does not mean the trust is not reestablished, it simply just means you have to work harder to regain the trust you once had to get things back the way you want them to be. Or course everything takes time, but time cannot be your only excuse in righting a wrong.
TRUSTING your friends: There are lifelong friendships that abruptly end when you simply outgrow someone. It does not mean that you no longer care for that person, you just come to realize that you no longer have things in common and choose to be around people that help you grow. Take for instance one of my best friends. Now I may not have known her as long as my left and my right hand (Maya and Tee) but she has been a friend that I can always call on. I was leery of her when we first met, but she grew on me and when I presented an idea to her about something I wanted to do she was all in helping me organize it (My Bridal Brunch). Our friendship was tested, even somewhat interrupted but we know each other’s heart and intentions so we were able to reestablish that trust. See when you are good person it does not matter what negative people say about you because they don’t matter.
See the theme here is reciprocal trust. When communication is unclear as we operate in a “selfish” world, it becomes difficult to identify who is your friend and who is your enemy. Some may think that enemy is a strong word and usually reserved for Satan, but some people are truly NOT FOR YOU. So getting back to the topic of trust…
TRUSTING your family: Well your family is who you make them to be. Just because you share the same blood as people that does not make you family. Not to negate familial connections, sometimes trusting family is equally as hard as trusting strangers. If the foundation of trust is not solid, even the family relationship will not be strong.
TRUSTING your colleague: This is an even more slippery slope. A lot of work on the same ship, but everybody is not pulling their load. It is difficult to work with people that you do not trust, and I am very aware that some may not trust me, but I’m outspoken and don’t beat around the bush when it comes to speaking my mind. At work everything that you say and do is scrutinized and you learn to just “do your job so you won’t get fired” but even that becomes mundane.
Sadly TRUST is not reciprocated and losing trust becomes an eye-opener in the face of adversity. It does not matter how hard you work to preserve your relationships, everybody does not have your best interest at heart and will make things harder for you unnecessarily.
I am getting to an age that my trust levels are low and I will only deal with people I feel necessary and trust and believe the people I trust is very limited. Reciprocity may not always be placed on the table but you learn over time who to trust and who to be careful with.
It could all be so simple, but we’d rather make it hard!
The Educated Butler