The things I am about to write have been circulating in my mind for quite some time. I have conversations all of the time with some really awesome women and within my bubble there is support, encouragement and uplifting. We talk about family, children, love, life, relationships and one thing we say is that when LIFE happens you don’t throw in the towel and say to hell with it. You pick up the pieces and deal.
Being passive has backed me into a corner at times I decided not be an open book, and on the flip side when I have been an open book my words have come out harshly. I’m to a point now in my life that since so many others have come against me and have made their points, it’s time for me to stop talking.
See people will watch your every move even though they claim they don’t like you. They will watch how you talk, how you dress, how you communicate with others outside of them, on down to your career moves to find an area to attack you where they feel you are most vulnerable. But let’s be honest, no one wants to be bothered by people that will continue to misunderstand them anyways.
I have always said that my personality is my gift and my curse. It is my gift because I’m bubbly, but not too intrusive that I sound like a cheerleader all of the time. I know that I am likeable and people (mainly women) that do not like me it is because that part of me that is outgoing and pleasurable is a trait they do not possess. Yes I am very aware of myself because I am my own worst critic, but I leave people speechless sometimes because truth be told, I have no filter and I am unintentionally funny. Now I have scaled back on the “whatever comes up, comes out” but I am hand full. Now those very things that are a part of my gift, are also what make my personality a curse.
Bitter, spiteful, less enthusiastic women find me quite irritating. LOL They want to know what makes me so special? Why do my friends (TRUE) adore me? Why do the men in my life love me? Why do the men in my life choose me? (Being MARRIED ain’t easy!) Why quite honestly can I get along with anyone but them? It is because in my naivety I give anyone a chance, but I learn how to handle people at the first sign of questionable acts. There is a saying, “Women do not need to be polite to someone who is making them uncomfortable”. I live by that principle because I’m completely okay with not getting along with people as to not force an association or friendship.
Today I ran across one of my dear sweet sorors and she said to me, “Tilya I be checking you out to see what you have going on because you are inspiring.” See, I don’t see myself outside of myself, and all of the good words and encouragement I have for others, I ignore and quite often do not apply in my own life. I have written about being tired of being strong, but that is a trait of my personality that is expected of me.
It’s even crazier when my husband says to me that he notices I have calmed down quite a bit. Here is why… Everybody talking, everybody attacking, everybody being selfish, and ain’t nobody listening. So since everybody has a point to prove, I’m going to demonstrate poise because people don’t know how to come at you when they can’t figure you out.
See if your adversaries have to go through great lengths to find you on social media, check your page from their friends page, and utterly embarrass themselves to attack you (or me in my case), then clearly you are continuing to do something RIGHT!
My circle of friends has gotten smaller and the people I trust with my innermost thoughts know exactly what gets under my skin. So my nonresponse to the foolishness of others makes me a target. I’ll wear that badge because it makes me stronger. I am defeating everything that the enemy has sent to destroy me. #UnshakeableFaith
I’m not where I want to be, but thank God I’m a long way from where I used to be. The Queen in me knows that people are going to talk no matter what I do. But confirmation of my good deeds come unexpectedly which shows me that I am on the right track in life. I will continue to pray over my marriage, career, and family because I have all that I need (Psalms 23).
I am trying to create an audience with this blogging thing. So those that follow me, read up on me, and even like me for that matter, THANK YOU! The words or my soror today lifted my spirit because I’m rarely seen anywhere outside of my home, so my blog is my escape. It’s safer in the house…LOL.
I have been an open-book in the past, but at this point my writing is as open as I want to be. So since I’m misunderstood and even disliked, you have made your point, so stop talking… I HAVE!
Mrs. Butler (8.6.2014)…Dr. Butler (6.17.16)… The Educated Butler 🙂