How To Love Yourself The Right Way
So many times as women we find ourselves playing many roles and we get so lost in the tussle we forget what we have been designed to be. Erykah Badu calls it being the bag lady and she was right because as women we have issues.
It may not be your individual issue, but some of us are too busy speaking, that we fail to hear what others have to say. I’m guilty of being loud myself, but in life, personal agendas can only take you but so far. There will come a time that your voice will have to be muted in order for you to see the greatness in yourself. Once you embrace your greatness, the team you build for yourself will boost your confidence.
My personal journey to loving myself more was tumultuous. Between 2009-2013, I was a hot mess. Angry, snappy, mean and unwelcoming. I was very hard on myself for my short comings, all while trying to sort through being a wife (divorcee 2011), mother, and teacher, I asked myself plenty of days what was wrong with me? Had my ambition and personality run people off? Or was I just unlikeable?
I was carrying emotional baggage that had haunted me since childhood. My father is a distant memory, all I have of his is his last name. Of course that was before I got married! I spent a lot of time alone as an only child at home because my mom worked. Not that it bothered, me. But I have always relied on self, so when my life in the past became intertwined with others, it overwhelmed me.
This undue pressure I put on myself has caused me to lose sleep, lose weight, gain weight, get divorced, then find love again. My life experiences have taught me over and over how to love myself more and understand that in the areas where I fail in life, I have been given an opportunity to try again. Failure does not mean that you are finished. Failure means that you are imperfect and capable of making mistakes. Failure allows you to regroup and try something different.
I will carry some baggage. No woman is free from reliving her past mentally, but it’s how you use those experiences to not repeat those same mistakes. I had to reconcile with myself and tell myself that it is okay to not be liked. It is okay to be questioned. It is okay to be misunderstood. Rejection is okay because as soon as my love is thrown away, it is picked up by someone that understands it.
I learned to love myself more when I did not have any other choice than being here for myself. Yes sure I have a support system, but when I kicked my own ass to take better care of myself emotionally, mentally, and physically, my smile got brighter and my outlook on life broadened.
Loving yourself the right way means facing your fears, accept your shortcomings, and understand that nobody is perfect.