5 Things People Avoid in Conversation
I’m taking a risk to write this blog, but it is something that came up in conversation with my husband and I the other day while laughing at the common things you hear people say, especially black folks. We have sayings and beliefs that are outright hilarious and are a bit taboo at the same token. I hope no one gets offended but take this walk with me as I talk about the 5 things black folks avoid during a conversation.
1. Discussing Family Business with Outsiders
Now I’m not talking about the best friend that has spent the night throughout childhood, or close confidant. I’m talking about those random people who pop up out of the blue fishing around to see what you have going on. People are only interested in your life when they think you are doing bad. At a very young age black children are taught to never discuss what goes on behind closed doors of your house because people are just being nosey. We end becoming adults weary of others and not fully trusting folks because a listening ear becomes a running mouth. Hear is to saying, “Don’t air out your dirty laundry in public.”
2. Talking About Money
I read a book Our Kind of People by Lawrence Otis Graham that take a close look at the aristocratic African-Americans. Keeping up the the Jones is more than a saying, it is true. But sometimes talking about money gets you in trouble. If you have successful means of making money and you aren’t begging or borrowing; people treat you like you owe them something. That’s so crazy! Why can’t we be happy when others are doing well? Don’t broadcast your money, because as soon as you got it, you can lose. That last statement segues into the next thing.
Some of the touchiest conversations are wrapped in your personal beliefs. When you hear someone say that they don’t believe in God, or they “don’t need nobody because everything they have they got themselves”; you will see a room clear. There are some devout Christians in some of our families that will walk the Bible all over you because those statements about needing no one is “blasphemy”. The older generations will talk about the goodness of God because they have lived through some things, but the younger generation will not talk about religion openly. Judgmental people make you ashamed of your beliefs because if they catch you having a bad day, that is what they remember over all of the good.
Having superstitious beliefs contradicts believing is God. But we conveniently believe in witchcraft that is both hilarious and gag-worthy. Of the funnier colloquialisms, “Step on a crack, you’ll break your mama back”, “Black don’t crack”, “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander” but on the flip side of that is “Birds of a feather flock together”, “If you shatter a mirror you will have seven years of bad luck”. We are some believers of some of the craziest things, but we never talk about them openly until something bad or crazy happens. We believe in bad luck whether we admit it or not. So stop putting your purse on the floor or you will be broke. LOL
In my opinion this is the most taboo conversation that is avoided. One of my cousins is gay, and I love her to pieces, but society makes it hard to embrace a lifestyle that is opposite of how other individuals live. I have heard conversations among all types of people, and a lot of us were raised to believe that how you live inside of your house is your business, and dare not be mentioned in public. Even though the LGBT movement is in full throttle, we still avoid having this conversation. I understand that homosexuality has a bad connotation, but does it have to be avoided? It is okay to have a discussion, it’s not disrespectful to discuss your believes, it’s disrespectful to treat people inhumanely. Have a discussion! It’s not as bad as you think.
There are plenty of other things that come up in conversation, but the meaningful an enlightening conversations are often shunned. This is just my two cents!