The other day I saw a friend of mine after not seeing her for a while and it sparked a conversation. We obviously have differences of opinion about everything and that is okay, but when it comes to associates, colleagues and other friends, why is it so hard to respect different relationships?
It is true! People will place you in a competition that you had no intention to participate in. But why do we compete? What point are we trying prove? Personally I am too concerned with what is going on inside the four walls of my house to be concerned with what others are doing. That does not mean that I do not have compassion for others, it just means that I am watering my own grass.
We confide in our friends our deepest and darkest secrets because we need support and love never thinking that those times will be used against you. You refuse to believe that someone would use your words to bring you down or expose what you are really going through. Sadly those who assume to know what you are facing try to expose your life when actually they are exposing themselves and their true intentions.
We have reckless conversations sometimes that cause so much hurt, we lash out at friends. We lash out at family then we look up and realize we have isolated ourselves by pushing everyone out. Pushing people away is easy, because when we want support from family and friends, it is often seasoned with unwelcomed opinions that make you choose to avoid sharing how you really feel.
It’s lonely on the island by yourself when no one tries to understand how you feel or shows temporary concern for your well being. It is equally annoying to feel that someone’s opinion of you is so far from the truth that you are offended by considering them your friend. The idea of being unconditionally supportive is a foreign concept and people will pick and pull at you until you say, “To hell with it all.”
Advancements in life are necessary to show that you are growing as a person both professionally and personally. Relationships with friends and family go through changes when you finally see who’s here for you and who’s being nosey. Maya Angelou says it best, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”
I don’t know if I’m naive, but I swear I always try to see the good in people. I love my husband hard because he’s mine and I want the best for him. I love my family hard because that’s my blood. I love my friends, my true friends just as hard because they are not malicious. My support system listens and sympathize. But sometimes when wedges are created, blurred lines hinder your view, and feelings get hurt.
It is not until we have misspoken, or feelings have been projected on to you, that you realize retreating is your best option. In reality hurt people, hurt people. Sometimes witnessing another person’s misfortune is exciting to people who have nothing going on in their lives.
You would think that accomplishments such as marriage, family, career, promotions, and life in general would be well received, but it’s not. It is laughable the lengths people will go to tarnish your image, your presence, and your overall being. True and valued support is few and far between. All news is not good news or necessarily bad.
Consider the source before choosing sides and missing out on someone’s life because you have been misinformed.