Child of God by Lolita Files pg. 29
I have spent my life avoiding feelings because sometimes they are not reciprocated. There is nothing worse than feeling vulnerable only to be let down in the end.
I think we all find stuff to avoid in life because it makes things easier for whatever phase we are going through. We avoid conflict because we don’t want to be labeled confrontational. We avoid conversations because we don’t want to expose too much of our truth. We avoid happiness because we don’t want it to crash down on our heads when we are experiencing euphoria. We avoid friendships because we don’t know who to trust because a listening ear becomes a running mouth. We avoid love because when our hearts are broken we never recover 100% to how we used to be.
We spend so much time in our lives avoiding life that we forget to live. We can avoid conflict but still establish our voices. We have to learn to speak with wisdom so that we are heard and not overlooked. Being kind is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of maturity. We can avoid conversations at the wrong time only to gather our thoughts so that when it is the right time the appropriate message is conveyed. That’s all a part of being slow to speak and slow to anger. Friendships come and go and it is not about who you have known the longest that demonstrates loyalty, it’s about the unconditional support.
Avoiding happiness will not make life more pleasurable. I read something today in the form of an acronym, F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself). Love and happiness are the keys to a full life. We can’t avoid self in the absence of both, because they both start with self.
There is no way to avoid life because it is ever evolving…